Every Scene Needs Conflict and a Change

by Jodie Renner, freelance editor

Do you have a scene in your novel where nothing much really happens? Where there’s not a lot of tension and no major developments or setbacks? If so, rewrite that scene or take it out, with any essential bits from it inserted somewhere else. If you leave it as is, that could well be the scene where your readers decide the story is lagging and they put it down — and don’t pick it up again. Today’s readers are much more impatient than readers of the past. Every scene needs to grab them with lots of tension and intrigue. Whatever happens needs to be “shown,” not “told” (for the most part), and the events and dialogue need to move the plot along and result in a significant change in the characters and their situation.

Every scene needs tension.

As James Scott Bell says, “Every scene in your novel should have tension, whether that comes from outright conflict or the inner turmoil of character emotions.” How do you create that needed conflict? According to Bell, “You create outer tension by [first] giving the POV character a scene objective. What does he want, and why? It has to matter to him, or it won’t to us.

“Next, what keeps him from the goal? It may be the opposing action of another character, or a circumstance in which he finds himself.

“Finally, make most scenes come out with the character suffering a setback. This ratchets up the tension for the scenes to follow.”

Of course, not every scene is going to have a fight or a screaming match. Depending on your genre, some scenes may be quieter than others. But even in those scenes, it’s important to show the inner tension of your viewpoint character — worry, concern, irritability, anxiety, doubt, indecision. Also show the tension of other characters by their words, tone of voice, body language, etc.

Each scene needs significant change.

As Hallie Ephron says, “In the course of each scene, some change should occur to move your story forward. It’s not enough for a scene to just introduce a character or convey lots of fascinating information about the setting. In every scene, something has to change. This means that something has to happen that changes the situation, or a character’s perception of it, and that change propels the story forward.”

The change that occurs in a scene can be a shift in either a character’s emotional state, their relationship with others, or their situation — usually for the worst. And the change needs to result in character growth or plot change.

Write tight, compelling scenes:

Besides making sure every scene has conflict and change, and events are “shown,” not described or “told,” another tip for keeping your readers turning the pages is to start each scene as late as possible. In other words, don’t spend a lot of time with description and scene setup – start just as things are getting rolling. However, it’s important to remember that, as Ephron counsels, “Even though you want to start late, don’t forget to orient the reader at the start of each scene by establishing, right away, when and where the action is taking place, and who is present.” This can be done in a sentence or two, or even a phrase.

Also, as Ephron notes, “Where to end a scene is also an important choice. A good rule of thumb: End as early as possible. In other words, don’t let the scene dribble off. End it at a strong moment and leave out any unnecessary final bits.”

A blueprint for writing strong scenes:

Jack M. Bickham gives us some specific advice for writing powerful scenes: According to him, any time you start to write a scene, you should go through the following process (reworded slightly for brevity, and my italics):

1. Decide specifically what the main character’s immediate goal is.
2. Get this written down clearly in the copy.
3. On a separate note to yourself, write down, clearly and briefly, what the scene question is. Word it so it can be answered by “yes” or “no.”
4. In your story, after the goal has been shown, bring in another character who now states, just as clearly, his opposition.
5. Plan all the maneuvers and steps in the conflict between the two characters you have set up.
6. Write the scene moment-by-moment; no summary.
7. Devise a disastrous ending of the scene – a turning of the tables or surprise that answers the scene question badly.” [ends badly for the protagonist]

Bickham concludes, “Please note, however, that none of this can happen – nothing can work – if the scene does not grab your readers and intensely involve them. To accomplish that, the scene must be lifelike. And the greatest danger to this verisimilitude is summary [as in telling instead of showing]. Fix it by playing out that part of the scene in detail. Nothing less will do.”

What about you? Do you have any good tips to share for writing compelling scenes?

Resources:

James Scott Bell, Revision and Self-Editing

Jack M. Bickham, The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)

Hallie Ephron, The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel

Jodie Renner is a freelance editor, specializing in suspense/thrillers, mysteries, and other crime fiction, as well as YA and historical fiction. Jodie’s craft-of-fiction articles appear regularly here and on five other blogs. www.JodieRennerEditing.com.

The Blockbuster Ending

by Ian Walkley

I recently read an enjoyable thriller by a NY Times Best Selling writer, but felt let down by the ending. If this can happen to those guys, imagine what it would do to a debut author in terms of future readership.

Most writers I’ve spoken to say they spend most time making sure the beginning of their novel is sufficiently honed to hook the reader. But it’s also important that time be spent ensuring the ending is strong. Which raises the question: what function does the ending of a novel perform? And what can writers do to ensure readers are not disappointed?

Don Maass, in his wonderful resource The Breakout Novelist, states that the main function of the ending is to satisfactorily resolve both the inner conflicts of the main character(s) and the outer, plot-driven conflicts. Sometimes, he says, authors rush the ending because of story fatigue or a looming deadline, perhaps both.

Preferably, Maass suggests, a story should be structured to make the inner and outer conflicts converge at the climax. No mean feat, given the numerous subplots to resolve, the main storyline to bring to a climax, character arcs to keep track of, and outcomes to tie back to the storyline in order to wrap things up for the reader.

Al Zuckerman (Writing the Blockbuster Novel) believes that the key element to the climax is an obligatory scene of great emotional power. In his book Fiction Writer’s Brainstormer James Smith suggests the following elements for a story ending:

• · A final, titanic, climactic struggle, with the climax the most powerful scene;
• · An element of surprise, even if minor;
• · Resolution that offers redemption to the hero;
• · Recognition that every element in the story pointed to the end (even better if you can plant a clue to the ending in the first one thousand words);
• · Lessons learned, for both characters and readers.

Excluding edits, I changed the ending to my novel, No Remorse, five times. To keep the action and suspense going right to the end I included several plot twists and a small surprise in the wrap-up chapter. To create scope for the sequel I had the readers realize that some evil forces were still out there, while keeping the protagonist sufficiently heroic and resolving the main threads. Feedback has been positive, with one reader writing that it was one of the best ending twists she has read.

Here are my ideas for ramping up the volume of your ending:

• · Write the last few scenes early on, rather than waiting until the end. You’ll change the scenes later, but at least you’ve got some material to work with and a destination to journey towards;
• · Write two or three alternative endings;
• · Write an ending from another character’s POV (even a non-POV character);
• · Write an ending as though you are setting up a sequel;
• · Rather than doing yet another edit from the beginning, review only the climax and resolution. Are they exciting enough? Do they plausibly resolve the storyline? How can tension be held right to the end?
• · Try an unintended consequence, like killing off a character you hadn’t, or letting one survive you had killed off. (Even if you don’t use this, it might give inspiration to change something else);
• · “Do a Donald Maass”––reverse the obvious, or reorder priorities or motivations;
• · Use index cards with descriptions of actions, conflicts and character emotions to brainstorm a new mini-climax;
• · Write your own checklist, like the one above from James Smith, and vet the ending against it. Does it tick all the boxes?

If none of the above give you a satisfied feeling, it might be a good idea to put the manuscript in the drawer for a few weeks, and come back to it with fresh eyes. I would also strongly recommend the use of a professional editor, even before you’ve even submitted your manuscript to a publisher. A pair of experienced editor eyes is invaluable.

Hopefully, you’ll have your Jack Reacher type character walking off down another lonely road, without a reviewer complaining that you didn’t explain what happened to the dog.

Ian Walkley switched to thriller writing after a career as a social and consumer researcher and marketing consultant. He is a published travel writer and has previously authored and edited two books on small business. Ian's debut conspiracy thriller, No Remorse, is the first in a series, and he is currently working on a crime thriller set in Australia. Visit Ian at http://www.ianwalkley.com

A thin line between Crime and Horror Fiction

by Richard Godwin

I was invited to share my thoughts with you about the line between crime and horror fiction. Many purists argue that they are two distinct forms. I disagree. My own writing has often been described as a blend of crime and horror fiction, and I want to look at what the connections are.
What do we mean when we talk about horror? What is it that horrifies us?
The genre evokes a painful or intense fear, dread or dismay. Douglas Winter said it is an emotion. It is also connected to the irrational.
As a writer I believe people are often motivated by irrational urges they seek to understand. Some of those urges may be criminal. Extreme criminality involves psychopathology.
I explore these areas in my novels. Mr. Glamour, my second novel, published in paperback this week by Black Jackal Books, is about a wealthy and beautiful group of people targeted by a killer who is watching everyone. These people have irrational habits that threaten their security. And they can buy anything, except safety as the killer strikes.
Horror undermines our certainties, inasmuch as crime threatens our securities. There is recognition and alienation wrapped up inside horror. Extreme crime evokes a horror that is more real than something a reader knows does not exist. More horrors exist in the history of the atrocities committed by the Nazis than in any novel.
I believe Thomas Harris is another author who mixes the genres to great effect.
Stephen King observed that in horror there is a tension between the Apollonian and Dionysian. This stems from Nietzsche’s “The Birth Of Tragedy”, where he examined art in terms of a dialectic between Apollo, seen as light and structured, and Dionysus, seen as dark and chthonic.
In crime fiction, on a simplistic level, we have the struggle between crime and law. The narrative thrust is towards restoring order. To that extent the genre is conservative. And arguably in its resolutions it is unrealistic.
My novel Apostle Rising is about a serial killer crucifying politicians. The narrative takes you deep you into the killer’s mind and the final revelation about his identity is a shock. It is a shock because it subverts identity. It leaves you questioning. It changes the lives of the people who came into contact with the killer’s acts, especially the police, and it leaves them altered.
Obsessions drive men and women to dark places, places where horror breeds.
Mr. Glamour is a crime novel with elements of horror in it. The killer has unusual powers. He steps inside the minds of the investigators. He changes their lives and they engage in acts that may be deemed questionable for police officers. They lead double lives and it is in their double lives that they find something they lost, some aspect of their beings their notions of identity precluded.
I hope it conveys what it is intended to, a great story, and one which shows that people may not know themselves as well as they believe they do.
My debut novel Apostle Rising did well last year, got great reviews, and sold foreign rights in Europe. I hope Mr. Glamour does as well. It’s about a glamorous world of designer goods, beautiful women and wealthy men and a killer who is watching everyone. It was released last week by Black Jackal Books and is already picking up great reviews.
You can find out more about me here .

April 2012 Debut Authors

Happy April and Happy Thrilling Thursday. The first of every month we will feature members of our Debut Authors Program. We are excited to announce that three members have books being released in April 2012. Please take a look and let’s celebrate their success!

Brian Andrews
THE CALYPSO DIRECTIVE (Arcade)
April 2012

For 115 days, Will Foster has been locked in medical quarantine without his consent. The doctors claim he is infected with a deadly virus, but this is a devious lie. Encoded in Foster's DNA is an unprecedented mutation, the source code for immunity against a disease that Vyrogen Pharmaceuticals will stop at nothing to commercialize.

Against all odds, Foster pulls off a heart-stopping escape from his laboratory prison carrying a vial of bubonic plague along with him. But Vyrogen will never stop hunting him and Foster is chased across Prague and Vienna by Vyrogen’s mercenaries, hell-bent on capturing him before he can spill his secrets to the world. In desperation, Foster contacts the only person in the world he can trust—an ex-girlfriend who works for Vyrogen.

Linda Rodriguez
EVERY LAST SECRET (St. Martin's/Thomas Dunne)
April 2012

Half-Cherokee Marquitta “Skeet” Bannion thought she was leaving her troubles behind when she fled the stress of being the highest-ranking woman in the Kansas City Police Department, a jealous cop ex-husband, and a disgraced alcoholic ex-cop father. Moving to a small town to be chief of a college’s campus police force, she builds a life outside of her work. She might even begin a new relationship with the amiable Brewster police chief.

All of this is threatened when the student editor of the school newspaper is found murdered on campus. Skeet must track down the killer, following trails that lead to some of the most powerful people in the university. In the midst of her investigation, Skeet assumes responsibility for a vulnerable teenager when her ex-husband and seriously ailing father wind up back on her hands. Time is running out and college administrators demand she conceal all college involvement in the murder, but Skeet will not stop until she’s unraveled every last secret.

James M. Tabor
THE DEEP ZONE (Ballantine Books)
April 2012

In this gripping debut thriller from James M. Tabor, a brilliant and beautiful scientist and a mysterious special ops soldier must lead a team deep into the Earth on a desperate hunt for the cure to a deadly epidemic.
When she was unjustly fired from a clandestine government laboratory, microbiologist Hallie Leland swore she would never look back. But she can’t ignore an urgent summons from the White House to reenter the realm of cutting-edge science and dangerous secrets.

“Potentially the worst threat since Pearl Harbor” is how the president describes a mysterious epidemic killing American soldiers  in Afghanistan—and now poised for outbreak in the States and beyond. Millions will die unless Hallie and a hastily mobilized team can recover the ultrarare organism needed to create a new antibiotic. The good news is that Hallie knows more about the organism than anyone else on the planet. The bad news is that it can be found only at the bottom of Earth’s deepest cave.
Hallie’s team is capable—especially the mysterious Wil Bowman, who knows as much about high-tech weaponry as he does about microbiology—but the challenge appears insurmountable. Before even reaching the supercave, they must traverse a forbidding Mexican jungle populated by warring cartels, Federales, and murderous locals. Only then can they confront the cave’s flooded tunnels, lakes of acid, bottomless chasms, and mind-warping blackness. But the deadliest enemies are hiding in plain sight: a powerful traitor high in the Washington ranks and a cunning assassin deep underground, determined to turn Hallie’s mission into a journey of no return.

The Apprenticeship

by Mollie Bryan

When I was given this opportunity to write a little advice for new writers, I paused and decided to research a bit of “advice to writers.” What I saw troubled me. There’s a lot of advice on how to build your platform, social media, how to get an agent, how to sell your first book, and so on. Yes, you need to know how to build your platform at some point—as well as all of that other stuff. But what I decided to advise you is this: step back from the market mindset, the social media, the how-do-I-sell-this-book mindset, and apprentice yourself.
If somewhat medieval images of working with no pay, learning your craft just for someone else to make the big bucks come to mind, that’s a good thing. Because that’s exactly what it is to learn your craft—at least at first. But you’re doing what you love, right? You’re diving deeply into learning about language, narrative, style and structure, right? This is my biggest piece of advice to any new writer: if this is not what you love about being a writer, stop. Stop torturing yourself. Ask yourself why you’re doing it. If it’s not for the love of it, you will be a very unhappy person.
If you’re lucky, during your “apprenticeship” you will have another well-paying job. If you are very lucky (like I was) you will have a job in the editorial field as an assistant where you can learn and soak every bit of it up. No English teacher anywhere could ever have taught me as much as an editor I worked with for six years at a non-profit in the DC area. Working as an editor, you get to know the language intimately. Knowing the ins and outs of language, style, grammar, syntax, will serve you much better than know if you know how to use Twitter. Well, at first it will. Ultimately, it will be your writing that sets you apart with an agent or an editor at a publishing house—and the reader, as well.
Not all of us live in New York or Washington, DC, or even a big city where there are places that hire editors, let alone assistants. If you don’t, here are some ideas for ways you can apprentice yourself that may not be traditional, but will help you out:

1. Find local writers in your area. Be very careful about this. Select a writer that is published and has similar interests to you. Ask if you can help or assist them in some way. Maybe you know more about technology and could offer help. Maybe they need a babysitter a few hours a week so they can write. Offer to help and ask if they could read your work. When/if they read it, don’t be defensive. Learn from it. You can also do this virtually. Agree to be a virtual assistant.
2. Take a poetry class. No matter what kind of writer you are, studying poetry will enhance your writing.
3. Study your favorite writers intensely. Analyze a paragraph, a chapter, and so on. On average, how many words are in their sentences? How long are their paragraphs. Just take notice of this. Or write something in the same style—just as an exercise. If you find you have questions about their technique, email them. It may start a great conversation. Writers love to talk about their own work.
4. Start your own publication or blog. Give it professional deadlines and standards. Soon enough, if you don’t have high enough standards, a blog audience will let you know.
5. Take on any writing assignment. I’ve written about everything from math education to life insurance. Take on a ghostwriting gig. Learn to write for education publishers. Get out of your comfort zone. I’ve gone from writing cookbooks to writing mysteries. Allow yourself room to grow, try new things, experiment with new genres and forms.
6. Along that same line: write. You are writing, aren’t you? I had the chance to hear the fabulous and successful Jeffery Deaver speak recently at a conference. It reminded me that the best thing you can do as a writer is to write. As he said, and I’m paraphrasing, even if you don’t sell your first few manuscripts, it’s a part of the process. You are writing. Learn from each struggle, each rejection, and move on. Make that commitment to yourself.
7. Learn a foreign language. Latin is the best—but any foreign language will force you to know you own language more intimately. (That editor I learned so much from had a degree in Latin.)
8. After you sell your book—and you will if you keep at it—the apprenticeship doesn’t stop. You might sell your novel and the editor wants you to cut 30,000 words from your manuscript. And you will do it, of course, without complaint. And it will be one of the best learning experiences of your life.

So much it writing is about processing what we learn, read, practice, and churn out to make better writing. We usually hear about the “overnight” huge successes, who somehow seem to make it look easier. But don’t let that fool you—for most of us, the learning never stops.



Mollie Cox Bryan wrote the regional bestseller  Mrs. Rowe’s Little Book of Southern Pies and  Mrs. Rowe’s Restaurant Cookbook: A Lifetime of Recipes from the Shenandoah Valley.  She is an award winning journalist and poet,  who lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her family. Please visit her at www.molliecoxbryan.com  

  

One of the missions of ITW's Debut Authors Program involves having established authors provide mentorship to those who are up and coming. You can find all sorts of evidence of this--in the informal conversations at ThrillerFest that take place between Big Author X and someone who has just begun querying, for example--and last Sunday a particularly inspiring instance took place.

Some of the Debuts were talking about which author we'd most like to sit down in a room with and get to ask all those questions that are so seldom asked. You know the ones.

How do you craft a book that gets so many people turning the pages--almost ripping the pages in their haste to turn them? What's it like to see your books all over the world? And even--how did you do it?

We quickly knew which author we'd like to talk with first. The only problem? Debut Authors come from all over the world, so where would the room to talk in be? We came up with a format that would involve a live chat via Skype.

Now we need to approach Big Author X, to see if the author was available for our live chat. The author we had in mind just happened to be touring and it was easy enough to present the idea while having a book signed. Well, okay, no, it wasn't easy, it was actually incredibly nerve-wracking and intimidating, until this author met the idea not with polite demurral, but instead a degree of, Hey, that could be fun.

He offered three hours on a Sunday. And the Debuts got to work.

There was a thread started in the mentor forum, which is run by Ethan Cross. Debuts could post their desire to participate as well as which question they'd like to ask this author. Miranda Parker, who heads social media, set about lining up articles and pieces that would be written about the event, and two new-ish Debuts, Cathy Perkins and Sam Thomas, jumped in to help out. Anthony Franze came out of the woodwork--actually the Supreme Court, yes, that Supreme Court--to assist with compiling lists of who would take part and assorted other jobs that we all realized at the last minute better happen for this to be a success. One of those jobs went to Gary Kriss, discussion forum guru, whose wrangling with ways to record the whole thing still gives me shivers to this day.

You know the shivers I mean, right? The ones that come when we duck a task that would've completely felled us?

There was a gratifying response--one Debut Skyped in from her book tour, and another was traveling from Hong Kong to Manila and wanted to take part. In the end we had to divide into two groups to accommodate demand and schedules, so it was basically like having a couple of parties, back-to-back.

Despite all the preparation, I would say there were still nerves when the day came and it was time to place a Skype call to someone we all look up to and carry assorted dreams and images of.

Sometimes the gods of technology smile, and they did that day. We could all hear and see each other. The Skype windows, affording their views of an office, a couch, a living room--there might even have been a garden in there--made it seem as if we were all just sitting around chatting together in some comfortable setting.

Questions flew back and forth--is it a good idea to go on book tour in December as a new author; how do you keep a series fresh; how do you tell fans that you're not going to answer that question even in a future book--and answers arrived with wit and honesty. One Debut commented that she learned so much it was going to take a week to absorb, and I think we all felt that way.

The amazing thing was that by the end of the time we spent together, we didn't just look up to this author anymore. We felt as if we really knew him. As if we might be exactly what ITW hopes for with this program--not just mentorees, but friends.

By the way, I do realize that this entire piece is a bit mysterious--may I say thriller-esque?--in its anonymity. That's because upcoming media coverage will reveal which author was involved. For now, let me just say that the Debuts hope to plan future events involving beloved authors. And you will soon learn the one who kicked it all off last Sunday!

Ode to the “Info Dump”, by Nancy Bilyeau

“Remember, Nancy, just because you find something interesting, that doesn’t mean you should go on and on about it in your book.”

That was a directive, delivered with her usual sense of calm authority, from Rosemarie Santini, the novelist running the West Village fiction-writing workshop I joined seven years ago. I’d wandered into this room of writers with the declaration that I’d like to write a novel--preferably a mystery—set in 16^th century England, a time period I was obsessed with.

Rosemarie said that was all fine, as long as I made sure to keep the story moving. “Don’t stop just to share your research,” she instructed. “That’s a mistake some historical novelists make.”

I nodded rapidly. I would, of course, obey.

Fast-forward to this week. The novel I started writing in Rosemarie’s group, The Crown, is now on sale in North America, the United Kingdom, and six other foreign markets. I’d decided to make it not only a mystery but also a thriller, with a Dominican-novice protagonist on a dangerous quest, searching for an object of mystical importance.

Next up: revising my second book in the series, The Chalice. My British editor emailed me notes on the manuscript and after a half-hour blanch, I realized the notes were brilliant and I got to work. One of her suggestions was to trim down here and there: “The wealth of research and authentic detail in the novel is fantastic, but there are some occasions where I think it would pay dividends to be strict about how much research or factual detail to include. “ Later, in the chapter notes, she said things like: “A couple of tiny cuts suggested here, so info dumps don’t hold up the narrative.”

For writing teachers, inserting lumps of “indigestible” information into a book is, well, a crime against God and man. “The info dump is one of the worst sins you can make as a writer,” warned the website Fiction Writers’ Mentor.

Flushed with shame, I dissolvedeach of the marked indigestibles in The Chalice.To relay too much information was terrible indeed. How could I have done this?

And yet…

“I Like the Information”

I will now sidestep here and talk about my colorist and friend, Sam. He’s the sort of great person you run across when you live in New York City. Sam is a Bukharin Jew who fled Uzbekistan, in Central Asia, when he was a teenager and now lives in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, not far from the beach boardwalk that stretches to Coney Island. He’s got a wife and two children, and six days a week he commutes to Mark Garrison Hair Salon on East 60^th Street, a half block from Bloomingdale’s.

I’ve been going to Sam for single-process and highlights for some ten years, and each time I see him we talk about books. He’s a voracious reader, though he admits he wasn’t always that way. “I hated to read, I wouldn’t do it in school for years,” he told me in his gravelly, Russian-accented voice. “Then one day I realized that books could contain facts or stories I find interesting.” Sam is very much an early adopter. He told me about George R.R. Martin ages ago. Nine years ago he was the first to talk to me about a book called The Da Vinci Code. “I like the information,” he said, eyes gleaming.

That’s a core reality I think some of us may forget from time to time. Readers want to be entertained by their thrillers, of course. They hope to tear through a novel that will get them through the flight from Chicago, the daily train commute, that bout of insomnia. I enjoy a juicy thriller’s excited “Now what?” feeling myself, though I crave characters along with the careening pace. I love a fully dimensional protagonist, like Lee Child’s Jack Reacher or Barry Eisler’s John Rain.

And what I really love is a story that reveals fresh and fascinating slices of history. I think the reason that Dan Brown, Katherine Neville and Steve Berry were such game changers is that they found ways to weave history or religious theory or mysticism into a fast-moving narrative. These authors deliverthe goods of compelling information—and throngs of readers love them for it. (It’s not just historical thrillers that win those rabid fans. Medical, techno and military thrillers canhook readers through shrewd use of fascinating facts.)

Now admittedly, I take this adoration of intricate thrillers about as far as it can go. One book I think is absolutely fantastic is Elizabeth Kostova’s bestseller The Historian, a new twist on Dracula. I skimmed the amazon.com users’ comments after finishing it and was stunned that a few of them struggled with the 720-page novel. “Too much of a travelogue,” one reviewer sniffed. “I almost stopped reading when it got to Bulgaria in the 1950s.” I wished at that moment I could grab this curmudgeon and shake him, demanding, “How in the name of God could you not like the Bulgaria chapter?!”

Being aware of my own predilections, I tried very hard not to info-dump my way through The Crown. I’d spent five years researching things like daily life in a Tudor-era priory, the prison conditions in the Tower of London and the legends behind the relics of Saxon King Athelstan. But I did my best to make sure the facts that I found personally interesting did not overwhelm the plot or characters.

Guess what? People who reviewed The Crown --whether it was a trade like “Kirkus,” a newsstand magazine like “O: The Oprah Magazine” or a blogger like Devourer of Books – liked the research. A lot. Practically no one complained that the historical research slowed him or her down. I kept hearing that what people enjoyed about The Crown was it took them somewhere new: a Dominican priory in the midst of Henry VIII’s Dissolution of the Monasteries. So I kept my promise to Rosemarie after all—the plot moved—but I shared interesting info too.

It feels good to have my own theory proven correct. People want to discovernew things and explore new worlds along with experiencing a thrill ride. Am I saying take off the safeties and info-dump away? Of course not! I recoil when I come across a badly integrated bit of information just like anyone else. But I also get restless if a story lacks dimensions and details, no matter how fast the plot hurtles. Don’t let the fear of committing a writer’s “crime” prevent you from digging up those interesting facts and then finding ways to weave them into the narrative.

The Sams out there will thank you.

---

Nancy Bilyeau has worked on the staffs of Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, and Good Housekeeping. Most recently, she served as deputy editor at InStyle magazine. Her screenplays have placed in several prominent industry competitions. Two scripts reached the semi-finalist round of the Nicholl Fellowships of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Her screenplay "Loving Marys" reached the finalist stage with Page International Screenwriting Awards and Scriptapalooza. A native of the Midwest, she earned a bachelor's degree from the University of Michigan. The Crown is her first novel.

Those Critical First Five Pages

by Jodie Renner

Congratulations! You’ve finished the first draft of your novel! Now it’s time to go back and polish up your first few pages. Then later you can do a third—or tenth—rewrite of that all-important first few paragraphs to create the most enticing hook possible. For today, we’ll talk about the essential ingredients of the first five pages, as most agents and acquiring editors—and readers—will stop reading by the fifth page, or sooner, if the story and characters don’t grab them by then.

In February 2011, I attended a workshop by literary agent Kristin Nelson at the San Miguel Writers’ Conference, in which she had attendees anonymously submit the first two pages of their novel. She started reading the submissions and stopped at the spot where she lost interest. In many instances it was after the first or second paragraph! Sometimes she made it almost to the end of the first page, and in one case, even halfway through the second page. Then she told us why that manuscript, as written, would be rejected. (Not a single one of those made it.)

In a follow-up article in Writer’s Digest (Oct. 2011), Kristen gives four examples of submissions and where and why she stopped reading three of them (all on the first page): “too much dialogue,” “overuse of description,” and “lack of tension.” In her workshop, “lack of clear protagonist,” “unsympathetic protagonist,” “boring” and “confusing” were other reasons given.

After Ms. Nelson's workshop, I heard a lot of “If she’d only read a little further, she would have seen that…” or “That wasn’t fair. She didn’t give me a chance. How can she judge a manuscript by only reading one page?” Unfortunately, agents get tens of thousands of submissions a year, and if you don’t grab them within the first page or two, the sad reality is that your book will probably be rejected. And of course, as readers, most of us will read the back cover and maybe the first page, then decide based on that whether to buy the book or not. And even when I’ve paid money for a book, if it doesn’t grab me by about page ten, I’ll discard it.

One of the main reasons agents, acquiring editors and readers will reject a book after reading the first few pages is that they’re confused. They need to get a picture right away about whose story it is, why we should care about that person, and roughly where and when the story is taking place. Once readers have a handle on the main character and the setting, they can relax and settle into the story world. Of course, you also have to spark their interest with a problem early on—put your protagonist in some hot water with an inciting incident, so the reader can sympathize with them and start rooting for them.

Whose story is it?

It’s important to start out the novel in the viewpoint of your protagonist, as the first person the readers read about is the person they start identifying with, and they’ll feel cheated if suddenly, after they’ve invested some time and effort into getting to know this person and bonding a bit with him, he suddenly turns out to be not someone they should be rooting for at all, but in fact the antagonist, whom they’re supposed to be hating, or worse yet, a minor character or someone who gets killed off a little while later.

As Steve Berry, bestselling author and sought-after writing workshop leader, told a packed room of eager aspiring writers at Craftfest, part of Thrillerfest 2011 in New York, “Always start your book in the point of view of your protagonist.” I think this is excellent advice, as the readers—not to mention agents and acquiring editors—want to know right away whose story it is, who to start bonding with and cheering for.

Here are the first questions your readers will be asking:

Why should I care about this character, anyway?

Readers aren’t going to invest time reading a story about a character they don’t like or can’t identify with, so make sure your protagonist is likeable and sympathetic, to draw the readers in to identify with him or her. And make them well-rounded and complex, with hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses, and inner conflict. And of course have them confronted with a problem—an inciting incident—within the first few pages, as conflict is what drives fiction forward. A perfect character with an ideal life is both annoying and boring—not a formula for compelling fiction!

Where and when is the action taking place?

Without drowning us in long descriptive passages right at the beginning, give the readers a few hints very early on—definitely on the first page—of the setting of your story: Contemporary? Past? Future? Country/Culture? Urban/rural/wilderness? Which city or town? And so on. Don’t confuse and frustrate your readers by making them wonder where on earth all this is happening, and whether it’s in the present or some other time.

Why should I read this story?

Show your stuff in your first five pages or so. Draw the reader (or agent or editor) in with a great first scene, well-written, with interesting, complex characters, some intriguing action, and compelling, natural-sounding dialogue. Include your inciting incident and initial conflict, and hint at greater problems to come. Introduce or hint at a worthy adversary—a cunning villain or attractive but maddening/annoying possible love interest. And write your first pages in the same tone, style and voice you’ll be using for your novel, so the readers will have a good idea of what they’ll be getting into. And of course, continue in this same tone (suspenseful, humorous, serious, romantic, etc.) for the rest of the novel, so the reader won’t feel cheated or misled.

But don’t get bogged down trying to perfect your opening pages in the early stages – wait until you’ve got all or most of your first draft written. By then, you’ll be “in the groove” and you’ll know your character and his/her problems a lot better, as well as the resolution, so this part will flow so much more easily.

© Jodie Renner August 2011, revised February 2012

Jodie is a freelance editor specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries and other crime fiction. For more info on Jodie’s editorial services, please visit her website at www.JodieRennerEditing.com.

March 2012 ITW Debut Authors

Happy March and Happy Thrilling Thursday. The first of every month we will feature members of our Debut Authors Program. We are excited to announce that two members have books being released in March 2012.

Lissa Price STARTERS (Delacorte)

STARTERS: In the future, teens rent their bodies to seniors who want to be young again. One girl discovers her renter plans to do more than party--her body will commit murder, if her mind can't stop it. Sixteen-year-old Callie lost her parents when the genocide spore wiped out everyone except those who were vaccinated first--the very young and very old. With no grandparents to claim Callie and her little brother, they go on the run, living as squatters, and fighting off unclaimed renegades who would kill for a cookie. Hope comes via Prime Destinations, run by a mysterious figure known only as The Old Man. He hires teens to rent their bodies to seniors, known as enders, who get to be young again. Callie's neurochip malfunctions and she wakes up in the life of her rich renter, living in her mansion, driving her cars, even dating Blake, the grandson of a senator. It's a fairy-tale new life . . . until she uncovers the Body Bank's horrible plan. . .

Owen Laukkanen THE PROFESSIONALS (Putnam)

Four friends, recent college graduates, caught in a terrible job market, joke about turning to kidnapping to survive. And then, suddenly, it's no joke. For two years, the strategy they devise-quick, efficient, low risk-works like a charm. Until they kidnap the wrong man.

Now two groups they've very much wanted to avoid are after them-the law, in the form of veteran state investigator Kirk Stevens and hotshot young FBI agent Carla Windermere, and an organized-crime outfit looking for payback. As they all crisscross the country in deadly pursuit and a series of increasingly explosive confrontations, each of them is ultimately forced to recognize the truth: The true professionals, cop or criminal, are those who are willing to sacrifice . . . everything.

A finger-burning page-turner, filled with twists, surprises, and memorably complex characters, The Professionals marks the arrival of a remarkable new writer.

My Own Private Rulebook

by Chris F. Holm

One thing I've discovered in my writing life is I'm no good at predicting whether or not an opportunity is gonna prove worthwhile. But I've also learned I don't have to be. Over time, I've developed a few simple rules to guide me. They've helped me immensely; mayhap they'll do the same for you.

On Online Networking
The best networking advice I've ever read came courtesy of novelist Sandra Ruttan, who said, "The first rule of networking is STOP TRYING TO NETWORK!" Fact is, publishing is full of interesting folks who love the stuff you love. So stop trying so hard. Just make friends. Congratulate folks on their successes. Champion work you love. Believe me, you'll get it back in spades, and wind up with relationships you'll cherish, not just a glorified mailing list.

On Short Stories

Write. Submit. Repeat. Shorts are the best possible advertisement for your work. Market-wise, don't be afraid to aim too high; my first acceptance came from Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, a long shot that paid off. But don't discount the little guys, either; I got a Spinetingler Award and a Derringer nomination for stories published in online 'zines, and when a buddy asked if I'd contribute a story to a new magazine he was starting up called Needle, I had no idea that story would wind up in THE BEST AMERICAN MYSTERY STORIES 2011. Oh, and agents read short stories. Just ask internationally acclaimed author Stuart Neville, whose agent contacted him out of the blue after reading a story of his in Thuglit.

On the Value of Free

Don't be afraid to give your work away. Use your best judgment, of course, and always aim for paying markets, but plenty of reputable short fiction markets don't pay. That one I wrote for Needle, I did for nothing. Funny thing is, the check for BEST AMERICAN was for more than I'd been paid for all my other shorts combined.

On Stepping Outside One's Comfort Zone
Most writers are uncomfortable in the limelight. It's an occupational hazard. But don't let that hold you back. If ever someone asks you to participate in something – be it an interview, a panel, or, say, a blog post on writing advice to be read by loads of thriller writers– and your only objection to saying yes is it's outside your comfort zone, SAY YES ANYWAYS. In my case, doing so put me on a panel at Bouchercon alongside pulp badass Christa Faust; a terrifying experience, sure, but one of the most thrilling and memorable moments of my life. And if I said one not-stupid thing, I might've even sold a book or two.

On Writing Advice
Writing advice (this writing advice included) is only as good as the work it does for you. There are a thousand ways to do this job, and none of them is the One True Path. So when it comes to advice, keep what works and toss what doesn't, regardless of the source.

*****

Chris F. Holm was born in Syracuse, New York, the grandson of a cop who passed along his passion for crime fiction. He wrote his first story at the age of six. It got him sent to the principal’s office. Since then, his work has fared better, appearing in such publications as Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, and THE BEST AMERICAN MYSTERY STORIES 2011. He’s been an Anthony Award nominee, a Derringer Award finalist, and a Spinetingler Award winner. DEAD HARVEST is his first novel.

To learn more about Chris and DEAD HARVEST, please visit his website.