Thursday, September 3, 2015

Bloom Where You’re Planted

by Nichole Christoff

The best bit of writing advice I’ve ever had really isn’t writing advice at all. Rather, it’s advice for the
wives and husbands of the men and women in our nation’s Armed Forces. Among military spouses, this advice is so well-known, it’s practically a motto. And it goes like this: Bloom where you’re planted.

With frequent deployments, the risks of armed conflict, and routine relocations, life in the military can be hard for any soldier, sailor, airman, or marine. But it can be a challenge for the wife or husband who’s vowed to go along for the ride. During my husband’s twenty-some year career as a military officer, we moved nine times. Sometimes, we traveled across the country to reach our new home. Sometimes, we crossed international borders.

For military folks, the rigmarole of so many moves isn’t uncommon. Each time, you start your home life practically from scratch. Every day, in every ordinary way, you face a thousand frustrations. Like finding the branch of the Post Office that serves your new neighborhood. Or connecting with a babysitter you know you can trust. And just when you feel you’re at home, it’s time to move again.
Your grandmother’s china ends up chipped. You learn to say good-bye much too early and way too often. And despite the warmth of friends, family, and other spouses, when your sweetie’s away, you’re very much alone.

But with each move comes a beautiful opportunity. You can bloom where you’re planted. In a new town, in a new state, or in a new country, you can make new friends to add to the old. You can try new tastes like Louisiana king cake and Montreal caviar. You can pick up new skills like snow-shoeing and stained-glass window-making. And you can live like a local. You can pass the Washington Monument every time you pick up the dry-cleaning. And you can never worry the rain will ruin your trip to the beach. After all, from your new address, the beach is only a few minutes away.

So, you dig in. You put down roots—even if it’s for a short time. And you find ways to do what matters to you.

If you’re a writer like me, you join writers’ groups, set-up office space in some corner of each new home, and when your husband’s away, you write like the dickens because it’s the constant. It’s the control. It feeds your soul. And it doesn’t matter if you’re in the Deep South where it’s steamy outside or in the frozen North with four feet of fallen snow. You bloom where you’re planted.

So if you’re a writer with a day job that drags you down, I understand. Take some advice from a military spouse. Let those cranky coworkers give you ideas for great characters and bloom where you’re planted. If helping your aging, ailing parent means less time at the keyboard, I hear you. Cherish those moments, write when you can, and bloom where you’re planted. And if your husband has to move again, again, and again while you’re trying to write and trying to live, don’t be afraid to go with him.

Because you can bloom where you’re planted.

Nichole Christoff is the award-winning author of three Jamie Sinclair thrillers: THE KILL LIST, THE KILL SHOT, and THE KILL BOX. A writer, broadcaster, and military spouse who has worked on the air and behind the scenes for radio, television news, and the public relations industry, she credits Jane Austen, James Thurber, and Raymond Chandler with her taste in fiction. When she's not reading, writing, or teaching creative writing at university, she's out in the woods with her ornery English Pointer. Connect with her at

In THE KILL BOX, an intense thriller perfect for fans of Lee Child or Lisa Gardner, security specialist and PI Jamie Sinclair tackles a cold case that could cost her the one person who means the most to her. When the consequences of an unsolved crime threaten to catch up with Jamie and military police officer Adam Barrett, a late-night phone call sends her racing to his hometown in upstate New York. In a tinderbox of shattered trust and long-buried secrets, Jamie must fight to uncover the truth about what really occurred one terrible night twenty years ago. And the secrets she discovers deep in Barrett’s past not only threaten their future together—they just might get her killed.


Jenny Milchman said...

Similar to the ole BIC (butt in chair) method...This is what we do, and wherever we are, we have to do it. I have been known, while on the road, to enter a closet with my little netbook, just so I can have door sequestering me and my words.

Thanks for the post!

Prisakiss said...

Wise advice! It's a great way to put a positive spin on a situation that at first may not seem ideal!

Definitely a mantra I'll share with my kids. :-)

Nichole Christoff said...

Jenny, thanks for stopping by to chat. Now, I'll always picture you in a closet, with a netbook! But really, finding the quiet in the midst of chaos is the key to writing, and maybe even to beating life's most stressful moments.

Nichole Christoff said...

Hi, Pris, and thank so much for checking out my post at The Thrill Begins. I'm touched that you'd share this advice with your kids! May it serve them (and the rest of us) well! Thanks again.

Joanne Guidoccio said...

Excellent advice! Thanks for sharing, Nichole :)

Nichole Christoff said...

My pleasure, Joanne. Thanks for stopping by the blog. May we all bloom where we're planted!

Tracy Brody said...

First, Thank you husband for his service and thank you for supporting him. I have soft spot for the military since I write Army Spec Ops series and read this because I'm always eager to get a real military spouse's insight. Great advice and I'm glad you bloomed so beautifully!

Nichole Christoff said...

Tracy, you're such a sweetheart to post so lovely a comment for me here at The Thrill Begins. Thank you very much. Best wishes with your Army Spec Ops series!

Keely Thrall said...

My take on Bloom Where You're Planted is Love the One You're With. Be in the now, not the later. Take heart in those new friends instead of looking into the distance, toward the tomorrow of yet another life change/move, and you'll find fertile ground for blooming.

Or something like that, anyway. Great advice!

Nichole Christoff said...

Hi, Keely,

Thanks for joining the conversation at The Thrill Begins. Your advice reminds me of another saying: Dance with the one who brought ya. Any way we look at it, it's good to know we can find ways to carry on during those stressful times!